It’s quite easy to become so caught up in your artistic authority that you forget that there are many people around you who not only don’t Want to embrace their own creative powers, but have no clue How they would go about it even if they wanted to. It’s sometimes very difficult to explain to a deaf man the Powers he holds within his heart and mind. When you attempt to say it, he looks at you funny and wonders where you came up with your crazy hippie love bullshit. It’s those people who look at you funny who are the least likely to even consider your hogwash to be possible. You might as well have three heads, in their eyes. A select few will perk up like wilted flowers whose thirst has just been quenched by a cool, refreshing gulp of water… those people are the ones that make it all worth talking about. Don’t waste your time on those people who refuse to hear your secret. There are many who will eagerly accept your given quest. As a beacon of beaming light in the sea of darkness and disinclination to adopt Responsibility, it is important to not become discouraged when you come ashore and find no Living, Cognizant creatures on land. Don’t fear being alone. Don’t become caught up in the slithering slime of denial and remorse and drama. It’s not worth losing your Hope over. If you can clearly hear those bells of energy chiming in the distance, you can know you’re not far from discovering other like-minded life out there. You’ll find it, and it will find you. Keep your spirits high so they will recognize you.

When I first catch glimpse of you, I grin from ear to ear. My heart skips a beat, and I gasp– the air gets caught in my throat and I’m a little choked up. It’s NOT love. It’s that primal animal instinct that makes me want to **** your brains out, and yes, that’s the technical term. I want to bite your lips, your neck… But when she walks in the room, I disappear. Inside I throw a little tantrum. My soul kicks and screams, and I pout a little. A little ball of jealous rage bellows a fire inside of me. Outside, I smile and find someone else to distract me. I suppose that some times I get to be the girl… and other times I get to wear the cloak. I abhor wearing your cloak.

I saw you tonight for the first time in ages.You were beautiful then as you are beautiful now. Through the eyes of a child I last watched you– through the ears of my youth I listened to you. Enamored. Our private little fortress; no one knew, no one could stop us. Our “secret” was bliss. I still think about it. Six years later, and you’re still on my mind. Who I am is because of many things that were you. Tonight you asked if I faulted anyone for my fuck ups. They weren’t fuck ups, but I certainly fault you for shaping me. I saw it; I feel it even now. That passion… that spark… I was blinded. It wasn’t love, but it was something that still binds to my heart. The more I say… the more I know less is better.

Whatever is on your mind you are attracting to you. I am attracting to me this new position within a growing, thriving business. I can see it in my mind. I am embracing it with my thoughts and motivations and goals. It is a mean to my end. It is the place where I can be happy!
And ultimately that’s what it is all about, isn’t it? No matter what makes you happy, that’s what you should seek!

Animismn : the doctrine that all natural objects and the universe itself have souls; (found at www.dictionary.com)I believe that everything is made of soul. This soul is really just energy– just as yours or my soul is entirely composed of electrical current in our brains. Everything you think, do or feel leaves a trace of energy. Energy can neither be destroyed nor created– but it can take various forms of expression. Creating energy: You consume food, absorb sunshine and nutrients, and drink water. Your body metabolizes the molecules into energy. You express that energy in thought, action, and emotion. (more…)

What a beautiful, amazing, blue-skied Tuesday!It doesn’t get much better than days like today. Spring is in full swing– racing right on in to summer. The plants are growing wildly. Planted a garden this weekend– did the whole thing by myself! I’m sore in places that I haven’t felt in a while. This reminds me that my body loves to move– I need to go run or lift weights or jump on the trampoline! I will have a plethora of tomatoes and peppers this summer– ten or twelve tomato plants, three different varieties; three kinds of peppers– from habanero to chocolate bells, eggplants, yellow squash, zucchini, raspberries and blackberries, even a little rosemary! Woo hoo!!!
I’m stoked. I love to grow things!It’s been raining fairly frequently here– an oddity for Colorado; I won’t complain even a little– in fact, it’s my favorite weather! It’s scorching hot in the day and then cools off with a light rain at night. This is absolutely my favorite time of year. I’ve been picking healthier choices recently. Fast food and ice cream are rare, and I’m walking to the grocery store when I have the chance. I’m picking more salads and veggies and I am consuming the fatty acids that my body needs. I’m drinking more water and less beer, too! It feels so good to love my body again. It’s not difficult work because when you love yourself, you want to care for yourself the way you know is best!! I’ve noticed a significant change in my body since I’ve been verbally, mentally and physically affirming the beauty in me. If you’re skeptical, you must try it! Anyway, for some reason today I’m struggling to put my thoughts down on paper… or in digitalese…. So off I am now to the shower: I’ve written in soap crayon all over my baby blue tile: I heart my beautiful body. You’d be amazed what that will do for you with time, too. *kiss*

Feeling inspired?Today was absolutely beautiful. Hot but beautiful. Then, after noting that the thermometer said eighty-eight degrees out, I was blessed with a few small raindrops splattering against my windshield. Now it’s raining. A soft, warm cleanse of our environment. The plants and lawns are singing with thank yous. It’s so beautiful!I have been carrying an emerald green stone in my pocket. Inscribed, it says, “dream.” Every time I take notice that it’s quietly sitting there in my pocket, I remind myself that it says dream, and I remind myself of my dreams. When I take it out of my pocket at night, it reminds me to count my blessings. You’d be amazed at the shift in attitude you’ll observe once you start consistently counting your blessings. You’d also be amazed at how thankful you really are once you realize that there are many people who honestly can’t count the blessings that you can. You have it good, very good. If you’re reading this, you have it better than most of the world. If you’ve read anything else I’ve written, you, too, can see the transformation. May it bless you as it has me. I want to tell you a secret. I want you to know that everything that surrounds you is your creation. I want you to embrace what I mean by, “In order to predict your future, you must create it.” I want you to know that there are no accidents– and that if you really take that ownership of everything around you, you will be amazed at how powerful of a creator you are. You create things based upon what you think and feel. If you’re constantly thinking and feeling that things are going to go shitty, they will. If you have a positive attitude on life, and know that with every downswing there will be an exponentially greater upswing, you will start living your life differently. These aren’t my ideas here, folks. And they’re not new or revolutionary. Your past teachers, who you’ve come to erroneously worship, taught you this very thing. They, too, taught that there is a power within all of us, a power to know, to feel, to be well and at peace. Your teachers taught you the most amazing joy in the world, and yet you’ve become lazy and instead of practicing what they’ve taught you, you’ve allowed them to become your icons who will do it for you. Alas, do not pass this creative responsibility onto to anyone or anything else. Accept it as your own; take ownership of everything that is your existence. Create passion, joy, and happiness. Create gratitude. Create this, and enjoy it. Live your life to the utmost of your ability.

This morning, I am SO GRATEFUL!
I’m so thankful for the singing birds that greeted me into wakefulness. I have been blessed with a beautiful body and mind that house my soul, keeping it safe and secure. I can happily go through life with confidence and peace. I am willing to do whatever it takes to retain my body and mind at the highest caliber possible. I am so thankful for the complete love, acceptance and joy I feel whenever I’m around the people I care about most– and the people who care most about me. I am eternally grateful that I have been surrounded with the most amazing, beautiful souls that exist in this universe; these souls have embraced me and overwhelmed me with a breathtaking love that has swept me off of my feet and washed me into the greatest depths of existence. I am so thankful for passionate kisses, for peace, for love, and for emotion. I express my utmost gratitude for miracles, for my safety, for my health, and for my intelligence. I have been truly blessed with everything I need to achieve my dreams. I am so thankful that I was shown at a very young age that I could be whatever and whomever I wanted to be. And here, I am thankful that I have embraced the responsibility to create my life and existence– I’ve been brave enough to really, truly live it for everything that it’s worth. It’s so amazing and gratifying to me to see all that has come about. What are YOU grateful for?And do you want to know the secret?

I think I’m finally back to a place where I can call me by my name. My recent journeys through life had me spiraling, *out of control* but alas, once again my feet are both firmly planted on the ground. I’ve picked myself up, dusted me off, located my walking stick, and am back on the path to satisfaction and effulgence. Game on. I’m like the kid who is designated traffic control, calling “Game Off” whenever a car comes zoooooming past and “Game On” once it’s clear to play again. Only the game isn’t a bunch of kids, it’s me and my life. Apparently the last stretch was a traffic jam, and I became distracted by it so much that I had forgotten who all was playing and what the rules were. The universe heard me cry out, though, and it sat me down and had a magnificent conversation with me. I was reminded of everything I have to appreciate, and that my sorrows were nothing in comparison to the struggles my peers have gone through. I was reminded that there’s no point in playing the game if you’re going to be miserable. I was reminded that relationships are entirely about how you feel when you’re around those people, not about the comfort and convenience you might have which binds you to your decision to not step away and experience new good feelings. I was exposed to a new passion, an experience that I can embrace as my own–instead of having my tastes determined by default for me; I was given the freedom to express my love and admiration–for MYSELF; I was accosted by a tsunami of joy and appreciation and kindness… Today, the universe has set me upon its doorstep and nudged me on my way. I am off again, onto my next journey. I am ready for the next chapter: to experience all greatness there is to be achieved…. I am not unarmed; I have been draped with love and joy and validation. I’m not crazy, I’m just another piece of this evolving, bubbling, oozing puzzle which is the energy of life. I have gone through my tribulations, and I will certainly face more in the future. But this time, I have my armour of spirit upon my heart. I will do everything I can in my future to create this existence exactly as I desire it. No more distress over a rocky path, rather I have clever game plan on how to work through it. I think you’d be amazed to discover that the road less travelled is sometimes the less difficult one.

*letting out a deep breath*

I think I’ve had a little too much caffeine today. Spent a majority of the day at Denny’s, studying the nervous system. It’s a beautiful thing, really. I’ve learned more this semester than I probably have in my entire life. What an amazing opportunity for growth. I’ve learned a great deal about myself, about my reactions, about my weaknesses and strengths. And tonight, while I was thinking, I believe I overcame an internal struggle I didn’t really even realize I was up against. I’m not sure I can explain it to you, but here it goes. (more…)

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