My time is valuable. If it is worthy of my time, [worthy (adj.) 1. Having worth, merit, or value; useful or valuable. ] then it’s worthy of me putting 110% effort into it. If it’s not worthy of my time, then there is no point in doing it.  I encourage you to eliminate those time thieves from your experience– if it’s not worthy of your time, why are you doing it? If it’s worthy of my time (and my time is valuable), then it’s worthy of my effort (which is always 110%). Giving full effort means giving all that I am to the things worthy of my time. That is truly the definition of passion. Very little is accomplished without passion. Be passionate about the things you do… the things you do are worthy of your passion. And so it is.

Today I take ownership. Today I own myself.  I own my emotions, my feelings, my hopes, and my goals. Today I take responsibility for caring for my needs in EVERY way.  Financially, spiritually, intellectually, physically, nutritionally, and emotionally. Today my head is held high; I am confident in my ability.
I am capable of handling any situation presented before me.  I do not push responsibility on anyone else.
I do not dismiss circumstances by saying, “But that’s not my fault.” Today I say instead, “This is how it is, this is what I will make of it.” “This is mine, this is my own, this is my choice and my responsibility and my experience.  This is ME.” I acknowledge my ownership, and I take care of me first.  My awareness of self makes me self-sufficient. I am strong!  I am able! And I will accomplish everything I intend to.

Three exceptional women sat in the lunchroom, chatting about their less than functional relationships with men. At first I was desperately relieved that I could sit amongst women like myself. We are incredibly driven, extraordinarily intelligent, and amazingly beautiful young women. We carry very little baggage, and have a plethora of gifts to offer in our loyal companionships… I was relieved because I was in good company.

These women wouldn’t judge me for mine as they were in similar boats… we all are in less than functional relationships with men who don’t want us like we want them. It was like a slap in the face when the thought crossed my mind: Maybe all three of us urgently needed therapy. Did we really think that poorly of ourselves that we believed that we don’t deserve men who desperately want to be with us as we do them? Were our confidences such a brilliant facade that we have convinced even ourselves that it doesn’t matter to us?? That’s just the thing… not one of us actually NEED a man.

We were three amazing, goal-oriented women who will achieve EVERYTHING we set forth to do. Eventually we will be independently wealthy– with or without husbands or companionship. All three of us are perfectly capable of finding companionship in one form or another– none of us socially crippled nor awkward in any fashion…

Perhaps this was a key point, she pointed out. It’s not that we NEED them, it’s that we WANT them… was that something so terrifying to a man? What was it about us that we could possibly be doing that was so off-putting to these men who we held with such high regard? We all thought that a WANT over NEED priority would be that much more flattering…

Needless to say, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently. I’ve been thinking about how I feel that I DO deserve that kind of companionship… and that what I think I want IS companionship… that relationship where I can be comfortable in my own skin… the kind where I know that I am dedicated to him and he to me… the kind where I want to be the only person that they want to be with– the kind where we are dedicated to each other and I know I am loved both when I’m crazy and when I’m phenomenal… the kind of relationship where I don’t have to constantly worry that I’m going to do something that will scare him off, as he is committed to me… committed to us. (more…)

Feeling good is the fuel for success. Sometimes I forget to feel good.  However, as a powerful creator, I must focus on feeling good… I must focus on that amazing feeling I have when I can look up at the world around me, can raise my palms up in gratitude, and can really appreciate what my experience is RIGHT THIS MINUTE.I forget this sometimes.  I get caught up in feeling uncomfortable emotions– even if they’re not conducive to creating everything I want… even if the only result of continuing those feelings is a lower vibration, a lower mood, a lower experience.  I forget. But I’ve been reminded today.  I’ve been reminded that I need to pay attention to my mood.  I need to pay attention and do whatever is necessary to feel good… Feel good… Feel MAGNIFICENT! Why choose to feel anything different?  I believe that I was once under the fatal belief that we have no control over our emotions.  I remember hearing my past teachers say: “You cannot help who you fall in love with.  You cannot be responsible for your emotions, because that’s just how you feel.”   This is absolutely NOT the TRUTH. The truth is that YOU are the ONLY person responsible for your feelings. YOU are the only one who controls your emotions.  YOU are the only one who makes you FEEL ANYTHING!! Do not be a victim of your circumstances.  Be empowered. You can have and experience ANYTHING.  You can BE anything you want!  Do you want wealth?  Define wealth!  Do you want health?  Define health! Do you want love?  Define love!  Figure out what you want, and then paint yourself a picture of what it is that you want.   Find that gratitude feeling within your heart– that actual feeling you will feel once you have what you want.  Wrap your fingers around that gratitude feeling.  Wrap your brain around feeling good about what it is that you want.  Keep feeling good… and you will attract to you PRECISELY what it is that you want.

I see myself dancing to the music, hips gyrating, arms waving, even if I’m the only one dancing.  Singing along with the radio, my lips parted fully, at the top of my lungs, even if I don’t know the words; smiling at a stranger just because it’s beautiful to watch their lips lift and catch their surprise that someone–anyone–smiled at them; talking to my plants as though they are listening; loving myself even though I know I’m not perfect…I see myself being proud, confident, easy and kind. I see myself as a doctor, as someone who can help and can heal…I see myself filled with energy, full of life and vigor. I can see clearly now: Myself as someone easy to love.

I did it.  I can’t believe I did it. While I was reading the test key, my heart kept thumping louder and louder– so much that the room started shaking and all of the background noise became the hum of the synapses firing in my head.I got an A on my Chemistry II exam.  An A.  And not just any A, but 100%.  This was no small feat, mind you.  Chemistry is a challenge for me.  A HUGE challenge.  I’m accustomed to my studies coming easily to me.  Not chem.  And I’m taking Chem TWO this semester.  And I got an A!  My quizzes have been sad so far this semester… a 6, a 7, and a 9.  You have no idea how ecstatic I am. I got an A on my Trig test, too.  But it was a 90%.  This was unexpected, as I was certain that I had nailed that one… but I made two very silly mistakes… Sad.  I can’t help but be disappointed with that after completely acing that chemistry test.  My head is still spinning. I’m almost through the week.  I was going to work on my abstract tonight, but instead I think I’m going to curl up in bed and sleep.  Maybe I’ll turn on the television.  Maybe not. I can’t believe I did it.  Seriously, you have no fucking idea how difficult this material is.  But I GET it.  yesh.

For a good portion of my life, I had misunderstood the definition of jealousy.  In my mind, jealousy had been defined with the same understanding as coveting: wanting that which I did not have.  However, a few years ago a dear friend clarified that this feeling was in fact NOT jealousy and was instead coveting, and from then on, I was appalled to realize that I was in fact a jealous person.

(Imagine my surprise after years of insisting that *I* was not a jealous woman!)Jealousy is the feeling you have when someone you care about has a good experience without you.  Jealousy is the fear that there might be someone else that your beloved might give attention to.  Jealousy is directly linked with insecurity, although a completely secure person can still experience that pit in the stomach “Am I missing out on something good?” emotion. I used to be extremely jealous with one of my past boyfriends.  I did not want him to laugh with, flirt with, or speak with other women–especially not their ex-girlfriend (who, at one time before his and my relationship was one of my friends!). (more…)

These curves, they are my own.

You can not take them from me, and I love them because they are part of me.
This is my skin, my hair, my body; this is me, my sweet soft skin, my smooth silky hair, my beautiful body… this is me, this is mine, and it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about it– besides me.

I used to put merit into what others saw in me; I used to be pre-occupied with the things I didn’t like, the things I wanted to hide.
I have nothing to hide, now; I am what I am, and this is mine. I love it purely.

They spoke aloud as though I wasn’t there; as I was walking past them in my sexy shoes, I heard them feeding off of each other, seething, “that’s how white women are,” something about “insensible shoes,” and “that’s a robbery waiting to happen.”  They were incoherent, these three men, and they were intoxicated on some elixir or drug and their own foolish stupidity.  I felt violated; raped by their words and their intentions.  I told myself, “think only good about it, perhaps they were just too stupid to know how to flirt with you.”   (more…)