Hello my friends!!!

This note is here to show my gratitude to the Universe… and to my step-dad Mike!!

Thank you SO much for my new laptop. It’s magnificent!!! It’s a sweet, amazing, schmokin fantastic laptop. I am SOOOO excited about this! My education is going to benefit from this in a plethora of ways. I can hardly believe how perfect this is. Yesh… it’s wonderful!

Makes me wonder… what should I manifest next??

Feel free to leave me your suggestions.

Tonight, I completed my last class of the semester. Next week: Finals.

Good goddess I’m relieved to be finished. I’m not out of the woods yet, but I’m close. Seven days. Now, much closer to six days. The countdown has begun.

Today turned out much better than I was making of it. I began the day rough, and I’m ending it wonderfully. I woke up with major anxiety, something I haven’t experienced in quite a long while. I went in to work late, hoping that the extra sleep would ease my heart. It didn’t… Once I arrived at work, nothing spectacularly horrible happened. In fact, it was over all a great day. The hospital’s employee lunch was held, and the food was wonderful, and my co-workers dragged me away from my desk for lunch– my doctor even joined us. I haven’t been able to take a lunch this week– I’ve been slammed. So it was nice to take a lunch and have a freshly prepared meal, complete with caramel chocolate cheesecake.

(more…)

I see money flowing easily.

I see myself doing the best job I can do on my finals.

I see myself being prepared and comfortable throughout the holidays.

Well kids, that was FAST!

I went for a walk with Elizabeth on our break.

I came back, and someone had left a cup of cider and my brownie.

Oh so ooey, oh so gooey!!!

*dancin*

I am so thankful for my brownie!!!

As I mentioned in a post yesterday, I have been in the mood for ooey gooey yummy brownies. As a “test” to my ability to manifest what I want, I have been putting out into the world my intentions that I will have some ooey gooey brownies. I don’t know how… but I will have them.

So, yesterday, I doctor I don’t know gave me a sugar cookie. I thought, hey, well, this is close at least. Not quite what I wanted… but close. “Keep focused on those brownies, my girl,” I said to myself.

This morning, while heating up my oatmeal in the employee breakroom, I found itty bitty brownie bites, sitting on the counter– shared by everyone. I have no idea who put them there, but when they’re set out on the counter, it is an invitation for all.

Now, these itty bitty brownie bites are wonderful. They’re not quite what I was wanting, but they’re much closer than the sugar cookie. I will keep thinking ooey gooey yummy brownies, and I can assure you that in no time at all I will be back on this “write post” page to tell you about it.

In the mean time, I’m enjoying my itty bitty brownie bites. Close, very close. *grin*

A thought experiment…
I already know this to be true, because I’ve done it in the past.
However, as a good scientist, I will go ahead and do a few more experiments with the Law of Attraction, just so I can share with you my experiences!

Landon and I are working together with the transformation happening in our home.  We have both agreed that we are both excellent forward thinkers, and between the two of us, we should have no problem whatsoever creating everything we desire.

Not more than a few months ago, we began focusing on attracting some more bookshelves and at least one more dresser for the kids’ rooms.  There are a few more things on our list, but for the sake of brevity, these are the things we were working on– and recently acquired.  We didn’t want to have to pay for them, and we didn’t have to.  They were a gift, and while the kids probably won’t be nearly as excited as I am about them having a dresser in the one room that they currently share, I am nearly jumping out of my shoes with excitement!  Yay for dressers!  Bookshelves are yet another one of those wonderful gifts!  We acquired two bookshelves for the family room and another shelf that will be perfect in the kids’ rooms.  Also, we got a new loveseat sofa.  Again, we didn’t go out and buy these things, they were all gifts!  Truly blessed, we are!!!

(more…)

“There is no spoon,” he whispered as he shook a spoon at me.

I recall knowing some people…. I must’ve been twenty years old or younger.  There was a friend of a friend… who insisted that he could manifest a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from thin air.  It was the PBJ theory… that if you wanted something enough, if you believed it enough, that you could think it hard enough, and *poof* there would eventually be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, right there, in his hand.

One of the guys we hung out with explained it to me.  I remember lying there in his room, hearing him tell me that quantum theory backed this idea up… that essentially the tiniest bits that make up atoms (quarks) are not really bits at all– they are energy– and that energy is affected by thought.  I remember thinking, man, I wish I had what they’re smoking…

I know many people have theorized, philosophized, thought about this whole concept.  It’s a pretty significant metaphysical belief, really.   It’s the tenant behind The Secret (albeit the more “out there” tenant, but it is a tenant nonetheless).  Thoughts become things.

Now, before you decide this is all hogwash and leave my page, I want to explain.  I want you to give me a moment to tell you how this all will work without you believing in magic or voodoo.  Those things are nice, too, but this is not really about magic.  (Of course, in a totally different vein it is, but that’s not what I’m going for right this minute.)

(more…)

I’m torn between feeling ecstatic and panic. If this is what manic feels like, which I’ve heard it is, then I can’t imagine cycling through this emotion like a pendulum– one moment invincible, the next moment pummeling through the depths of depression like a fiery comet through the pits of hell… well, then, I’ll pass.

This life is so crazy. Insane. Crackers. Cooo-cooo.

Inevitably, amazing things happen. Of course, then, so do worrisome things. I’ve felt a lot of emotion today… a lot of the precursor towards guilt… not quite guilt, but just enough question in my mind that if I really did fuck things up with so many of the people I’ve experienced in my past, then ouch, I must not be as good of a person as I had thought. At the same moment, right as I’m about to succumb to feeling sorry for myself, the faint whisper in my mind hastens me to stop… Why can’t I be just fine as I am, mistakes and all?

Of course I’m not perfect. You all have followed me along this path of realization that one– that I– cannot always be the perfect (fill in the descriptive role here). I’m not an angel, after all. I may try, but alas, I fall significantly short. So if that is true, and right, and perfect, then why should I feel a negative emotion such as guilt for being human?

My passion for people is proving to be another roller coaster ride… highs, lows, and every place in between. I shed tears for my lost friendships… but in the same body, I recognize that I have three options: change my thoughts, release my thoughts into the Universe, or come to resolve. All of which are valid options, none complete without the others, but some more permanent in healing than the rest.

Choose to resolve. To revolve. To evolve. To embrace the life lessons as my own– my learning opportunities perfectly suited for a Work In Progress such as myself.

How I will go about resolving myself from my sins… is a challenge most people would gift a god. Dear Father in Heaven, save me from myself. Forgive me my sins.

What does a child do who has no Father? Does she cry out with self pity? Does she wallow in misery knowing that no imperfect creature such as herself could possibly pursue the expression of bliss?

I can’t go that route. I can’t allow myself to rot that way.

Instead, I will learn to forgive and embrace myself. In all my passions– my pitiful behaviors– my oversights and loose tongues. I allow it to be my experience, and yet strive for perfection.

They say perfection is god’s work.

And in saying yes, I recognize the goddess in me.

Tonight, I feel validated.

With so much going on in my world, I have needed a temporary break from myself– from the constant thoughts that swim in my head.  I have had to take a few days to be quiet… to just Be.

I have been absorbing it.  Re-aligning myself with the inner guidance that drives me towards feeling good.

I have learned a great many lessons through these most recent experiences… learned that as long as I keep putting one foot in front of the other, that I will get through the maze, regardless of where I end up… I have been forced to trust myself, my judgment. To know that I have my best interests in mind.

I was given some great advice.  It was that one should not go around with their head in the sand, not lie in the dark waiting for whatever happens next.  I believe that I create my experience, through intentions, through thoughts, through my attitude towards my experience… and that I shouldn’t ignore what isn’t working– to address it is far more liberating than to lazily allow things to happen to me.

There are so many opportunities to learn from what we go through.  It’s a matter of whether or not we allow ourselves to absorb those lessons or if we blindly grope in the dark looking for the reasons behind why we go through them.

Good things just seem to happen to me.

There’s a lot in my head right now, a lot floating around, and I’m trying to interpret it all– trying to figure out what is important to share and what isn’t. I wanted to tell you all about the good fortune I that is coming upon me.

First, there are the gifts. I have received so many gifts recently, it makes me smile to think of it. Today, I got a ride home from an old friend and a co-worker who stopped by the bus stop while I was waiting. “Where you headed?” I told them, and they said, “Get in!” so I did. I rode to my destination with friends. However, I must add that I’ve learned one really important rule: Never trust a man who brakes with his left foot. *chuckle* I’ve been given homemade cookies from a classmate. A beautiful jade plant from one of the facilities guys. A homemade pumpkin muffin from one of our nurses. Good advice from my mentor… so many gifts!!! And you know what else? I realized that people are REALLY nice to me at work. I pass people in the hall, and I get smiles, constantly. People ask me how my day is or how school is going… people who I don’t really even know. They care, and they smile. Gifts… (more…)

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