*stretches*Ooooh spring break.  (exhale)So, this is definitely turning out to be one of my more memorable spring breaks… A few years ago I went to Moab, but this one… this is one I’m totally going to tell my grandchildren about.  Either that or I’ll tell YOUR grandchildren…   Honestly, nothing super duper terribly exciting is happening, though I am certainly having a run for my money keeping up with it all.  I feel different; changed… I feel like I’ve never known before, and I’m anxious that someone is going to nod their head at me and say, “yup, I knew you’d grow up eventually.”   I’m not quite there yet– but suddenly I am feeling much more capable, confident, and familiar with experiences I’m going through.  A few years back, I would see these things and say, “Coooool.  I wonder how this will turn out.” And now, it’s more of a “I’m not really sure what’s going on, but bring it on, because I know I can handle whatever the experience demands of me…”    I’ve become increasingly confident in my ability to attract exactly what it is that I want from this life.  While sometimes it DOES feel totally magical, I’m quite certain the real part of the Secret is setting your expectations high and because you truly believe you can have whatever it is that you want, you are capable of motivating yourself to earn you want… or at the very least, find ways of making it happen…  I look at myself in the mirror and realize that yet again I am struggling to remember who I was in the past and have every ounce of my energy focused on who I will be in the future.  I have a hard time recognizing myself at moments.  I’ll look at myself and for a flicker of an instant in my mind I do not know the beautiful woman staring back at me.  She is so different from how I remember her.  So beautiful, so radiant….  So happy.  So completely capable of experiencing happiness regardless of what moment I’m in… Even on my lowest moments I still have enough joy to fill my heart that I know that nothing can really knock me down for long… such joy.  I wake up every morning knowing that today is the only day I have within my control… today is worth doing well.  And as I fall asleep at night, I know very well that feeling of utter exhaustion and accomplishment… Every part of my experience is radiating with opportunity and emotion…   I feel somewhat like an addict… an addict who has had their taste of whatever alternate they can wrap their fingers around, just for a minute or more of the ecstasy they feel when poison has first entered their blood stream.  I am high on this existence, on this experience, on this freight train filled with springtime and greenery… I’m high on my joy.  yes…   Good things happen.  It’s almost like I expect them now.  

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