So… I elicited a “wow” from a gentleman (well, who knows how gentle- he was) at the gas station yesterday. It was pretty flattering considering I was make-up-free and my hair was still a little wet from the shower. I must have appeared angelic to him (you know, I’m just so angel-like when I’m without my make-up.) Yay for eliciting “wow’s!”
I seem to forget about me when I’m not “on the market.” Interesting phenomenon. I think there are a lot of people who do this. When you’re not on the market, you’re off the radar. Perhaps it’s pheromones. I don’t know. But it seems to me that somehow suddenly men are Aware of Me. Maybe it’s just that I’m aware of them. I doubt it, I’m a pretty aware chick most of the time.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently. I know you’re surprised. I’ve been thinking about life and love and all that stuff that women get paid to think about. (Men, you didn’t know this? Well, now you do.) I’ve been thinking about love a Lot. I’ve been thinking I’m going to have to get me some. Not necessarily going to go out and buy some today, but it’s something I might be interested in investing my time in. I really like it when *I* feel “in love.” And it seems like it might be pretty cool to experience it from the opposite end– as a receiver of such love. There’s something addicting about that giddy, bubbly, ohmygod-yay-for-him-and-me-and-us kind of emotion. I’ll have to figure out if it’s worth the cost. Could be. With love, though, seems to come a lot of responsibility. There are a whole damn lot of people who veer away from it at the first mention. Whatever momentum there might have been could be lost, and that train of lovin screeches right the heck off its tracks. I think that this whole screeching off its tracks business might just be a great indication to me whether the guy I’m with is a candidate for some good, old fashioned LOOOOOOVE (or not). It’s pretty funny how, in age, eventually us chicks figure everything out. *wink*
In the mean time, I’m busy being in love with my friends, and more importantly myself. I’m becoming more and more comfortable feeling this giddy over me. I’ve also discovered a new type of relationship that I’ve even (scientifically) given a name to. This relationship is the polar opposite of friends with benefits, and I call it “Lovers without Benefits.” Cute, no? So, now that I’ve defined it as such, I have come to realize that I, in my self-pitying misery, was absolutely wrong last month (around my cycle, mind you), when I decided that I had a lot of acquaintances and no close friends. I admit it, my friends! I was completely and utterly WRONG. I don’t know what I was thinking. I do know that hormones make me crazy. (It’s just how it goes with me… but I digress.) The much more correct description is that I have hundreds of acquaintances and friends, and a handful of some very, very close friends. They’re my Lovers without Benefits. And I’m more than okay with that. So, in the great amazing scheme of things, I feel loved. And In Love, even. There’s a lot to be said for saying that. (chuckle) I am happy to have my several Lovers without Benefits because I know I was blessed with the most extraordinary friends one could ask for. (I asked for it, and of course, I always get what I ask for.) I wanted love, and now I feel… LOVE! Crazy how that works.
Someday, I’m going to have to write a book about it.
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