Manning A Body In A World of Natural Consequences

Natural Consequences: the universe’s way of parenting you into doing what’s right.

I parent by means of natural consequences.  Mostly.  If I’ve asked the kids to put on a long sleeve shirt and a jacket, and they refuse, then I allow them to be cold when we leave the house.   If I give them instruction on how to do something, and they refuse, then I allow them to see what happens when they take another route.  Sometimes they find a suitable solution.  Other times, they must start over in order to get what they had originally wanted.

Taking away the natural consequence is often a shame– because there are many things you must discover for yourself.

Though… there are some things I am a stickler on.  Some things need to be done a certain way, and those things are the less tangible.  For instance, teaching manners is a very high priority because if nothing else, a child who needs help can manage to find it if they ask for it politely.

Food is another thing I’m pretty strict about– specifically sugar.  And that is technically a selfish reason– when the kids get all sugared up, it’s ME they drive crazy.  We definitely don’t have a no sugar policy, but we absolutely keep it within the boundaries of moderation.

That, and it’s important to me that these children are not picky eaters.  It really annoys me to be around a child who is a picky eater.  I’m not saying they have to like what I feed them, but they certainly are going to try it, again and again, to make sure they still don’t like it.  After we’ve established that they don’t like it, we are considerate and will plan accordingly.  It’s an accommodating approach– to a point.  Also, there are times we don’t have what they are craving.  And that, frankly, is just too bad.  We never have NO food, so it’s a matter of saying, “Well, are you hungry enough to eat what I have to offer?”

I believe that when natural consequences are accompanied by very little more than an ounce of intelligence, it provides a solid cause and effect reaction to just about any behavior.

Our bodies are the only things that separate us from each other.  Not our minds– our bodies.  They are the vessel in which we experience our conscious whole.  This means that once a child reaches an age to competently care for their own body, then it is their job to do so, even if I am still directing the behaviors.