Aug 25

not for all the money in the world!

Life, PMS, Perspective Add comments

I suffer from my PMS. Sadly, you suffer from my PMS, too!There are twenty-eight days in my cycle.  Of those, I bleed five.  Before that beautiful release (and return to sanity), I have seven to ten full days of Pre-Menstrual experience.  Seven to ten days… that’s more than one fourth of my cycle.  Every fourth week.  Yesh.  You love me. And during the pre-menstrual experience, I am fucking crazy.  I mean, not always, and not all the time, but I CAN be.  Often.  Throughout these pre-menstrual days.  My patience is totally thin, and I can become exacerbated over the most minute delays!  And I’m needy.  Needy.  Neeeeeeedy.  PAY! ATTENTION! TO! ME!!!!!!!  And my skin breaks out.  So I’m less confident that I don’t have some raging blemish that you’ll be forced to stare at.  So pay attention to me, but don’t look at me.  And goddess forbid I get cramps.  These usually don’t bother me until the first day I start menstruating, but some months are better than others.  It’s fun.  Really.  No, don’t walk away, I’m not done. Okay, maybe I’m done.  I’m just more sensitive during these days.  Some cycles are better than others.  Some cycles make me want to present myself to the nearest mental health facility, begging them to diagnose me with Pre-Menstrual Dysphoria Disorder (PMDD– the baaaaaad version of PMS), have them stick me with some morphine and make me just sleep it off.  Other times, I’m perfectly normal.  Like, functional.  You’d never know it until I actual bleed that I had been pre-menstrual. It’s fun being a woman.  Really.  I don’t mind all this cycling business.  I don’t even mind that I get pimples because of it.  I don’t dislike tampons, and I sure as hell don’t hate bleeding once a month.  I wouldn’t trade my womanhood for being a man for all the money in the world.     …maybe for all the chocolate in the world…

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