This is going to sound a little strange to you.  Maybe.

 I feel a little detached from humans sometimes. I see humankind as almost a different creature from me– or I a different creature from them.  Perhaps this is my egocentric character shining through.  Perhaps it is the emotion one has as a person watcher.  I watch people.  I can sit and watch human behaviors for hours.  Not on television, but in public.  I am fascinated by behaviors– by how people interact with each other based on their mood, their company, their circumstances, and their levels of inhibition.   I have been known to watch for hours and hours, and if I cannot figure out a person’s story by observing them, I will create a story that seems to fit what I’ve watched about them.  This adds a certain twist– maybe even a tad bit of drama so to speak, because it’s interesting to watch the story unfold… are these strange humans going to follow their own story line?  How accurate is my assessment?  What more will they do to add to the plot?  

People fascinate me.  I want to go into psychiatry.  I want to understand behavior, and I want to know how to predict it. Here’s the kicker:  I’m human. Honestly, I don’t always know what I’m going to do in all situations, and really, I feel like I’m dreaming a lot.  I think that a lack of sleep and an innate ability to deal with dramatic change has allowed me to shift my perspective into the people watch of myself.    I am curious about the wide variety of possible interactive behaviors I could exhibit, and I’m often amazed by whatever avenue I pick.   It’s not that I don’t have a perspective of why it is that I make the decisions I make– hell, I have front row tickets to the inner workings of my own brilliant mind; it’s honestly not all that different from watching other people– as I have created in my head a solid understanding of why people do the things they do.  So I know why I do the things I do, and I understand them, but I still find it amusing to watch myself.  I even have a somewhat strange propensity for putting myself into unusual situations just to see how I deal with them.  These are fascinating experiences.  Sometimes I wonder if maybe I have a higher threshold for stimulation– but then I’m reminded of the little things that I love and appreciate in my sensory experience.  I am not exempt from human behaviors. I fascinate myself.  I like watching myself interact with people. 

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