September 10th, 2008
From Sep 10, 2008
Once there was a girl who suffered. She suffered from every imaginable affliction, though none were so tangible as the situations she put herself into.
She instinctually ran from suffering. She wanted to make the world a better place because she wanted to end suffering. She has a pure heart, through and through, yet could not get the karma pool to return the great passion of goodness she put out there.
Yet for some reason, terrible things kept happening to her. She kept doing things that made people hate her. She kept having friends stab her in the back. The pain she went through was immeasurable.
Unfortunately, there is no end to this brand of self-flagellation.
True wellness means letting go.
Guilt cannot rule your life. She could not possibly say her penance for everything.
However, I think that in many ways, the guilt was comfortable. Perhaps in many ways, the guilt was pleasurable.
No matter how much one tries to let by gones slip away, if she takes comfort in the pain, she cannot let it escape her.
Doing so would destroy everything she stands for.