Into The Rabbit Hole

I suppose I forget sometimes that I should be a reflection of what it is that I want to attract.

Should I choose to actually demonstrate what I’m seeking to attract, I would be real, honest, loving, kind, considerate and gentle with myself.  Which I suppose I actually DO, most of the time.

Meh, we’re all human, and it’s perfectly reasonable for me to sometimes be off my game.  This comes back to the “I’m okay as I am” phenomenon.  Happily, I can say that acknowledging this comfortability with myself and my mistakes is coming a lot more easily… and I have succumb to far fewer self-beratings than I used to.

I get to thinking a lot… My counselor encouraged me to sometimes “get out of my head.”  Admittedly, this is a strange concept.  To get out of my head is to lose my grip, to lose control on my thoughts and to step back.  As fun as that is…

…I know she’s right, though.  But when I’m not listening to her advice (which takes up more of my time than actually adhering), I get to thinking.  I get to thinking about BIG things.  About pressing things.  About things I can worry about, problems I can solve, problems that are out of my hands.

For instance… Does it matter which Democrat we have running for office?  And what about racism and sexism?  Are we “evolved” enough to see past genitalia and skin color?  So many people just aren’t, when will we change?  And what happens if another Republican comes into office?  Will he fix what the last one did? CAN we fix it?  And what about the earth and her needs.  She cleanses herself. Does she discriminate, or am I also at risk?  And about this 2012 business… is it really the end of our era?  The beginning of some new consciousness?  The end of the world as we know it?  Will my greatest phobia, which is falling off the face of the earth, come true in a magnetic shift of the earth’s poles, as Einstein predicted?  And not only Einstein, but the Mayans, Nostradamus, and other clairvoyants/prophets all said something about this year.  And will it really matter WHICH president we have in office then?  And will it really matter which school the kids go to– or what my grade in Organic Chemistry was then?  And will it matter if they’ve found the elixir of youth and the right penis enlarging drugs and weight loss skin cremes and fat we can eat but can’t absorb???  Does any of this matter?!  What about my job, and money at all?  And what about these days lost without my loved one by my side?  Does it matter that time could be running out?  And what about pesticides and pharmaceuticals in our water….

*sigh*

I know, it’s out of control.  And I realize that worrying about any of this stuff is a negative prayer, and I DO believe in the power of prayer/ right thinking.  I want to reflect what I want to attract– the beauty and awesome-ness of this life; I want to experience every moment in joy and awe and wonderment… and as long as I’m thinking, well, I’m just not enjoying the moment as much as I could be.

So then what?  Do I become a happy hippie (which I’m already there, I think), and flit about the country meeting new and happy hippies?  Do I curse the almighty (albeit withering) dollar and start figuring out how to build my castle without money for stones?  Do I start watering my garden with only rain I’ve caught… and then remind myself that we live in the desert and that all of that water comes through our tainted atmosphere before reaching us here on the ground?  Or do I happily drench my thirsty roots with whatever I can provide them?  I am conflicted.

As much as I dread admitting it, the more kind I want to be, to this planet, to its people… the more jaded I think I become.  Sometimes I wish for ignorance.  It was much happier then.

Click here to read Time.com’s article “Time to Invade Myanmar?”

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

I was completely taken aback reading the headline on www.cnn.com which led me to the article posted on www.Time.com.

Who are we kidding?  Our American government LIKES to go in and be heroes when heroes aren’t wanted.  We like to go in and tout that we’re the saviors, while using those actions to distract from the fact that we’re meddling in affairs that do not belong to us (in hopes of financial or military gain).  A slight of hand; watch my right hand give you the peace sign while unbeknownst to you, my left hand is discreetly flipping you off.

If Myanmar’s government does not want world aid, then don’t force it!  We have our own battles to fight– our own people are dying in street fire because we sent them across seas in a facade that looked (again) like a plot to save the world.  You think the Burmese government is too tyrannical?  Let their people DIE, so that they have no one to rule over!  Yet, while we’re talking about performing fly-by aid drop-offs, on millions of streets in America, we have people starving, people with addictions, people with disabilities, who would benefit from this “aid…”  How about putting some money/”aid” into fixing our health care system– so that illegal immigrants cannot tax the emergency rooms and actual taxpayers’ children can be given treatment without withdrawing financial compensation from the doctors?

*arrrgh!!!*

It’s not about human life, it’s about a stage filled with actors.  It’s not about what’s right or wrong– it’s about who’s able to flex their muscles in the most aesthetically appealing photograph.  It’s an act, and I am absolutely appalled that anyone would consider INVASION of a country because they don’t want our handouts!  WTF?!?!

Apparently I’m on a mission to save the world.  Uh oh, knight in shining armor complex strikes (again).   I guess the reason behind it is that my level of awareness is increasing in leaps and bounds, and in order to share it with you, I have to put down the most important pieces as quickly as they are coming to me– so that you can at least have some sort of reference to figure out where the hell I’m coming from.

In turn, those bits and pieces turn out to be my way of identifying what’s going wrong.   And as much as I don’t want to focus on what’s wrong (for lack of desire for more of what’s wrong), I still believe that you must acknowledge that things are going wrong in order to identify the solutions.   I’m not saying that I have all of the solutions– or any of them for that matter, but I do believe that there ARE solutions, and that we as a collective whole, are perfectly capable of putting our minds together and not only defining the solutions, but creating a workable game plan in order to begin BEing the solution.

“If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”  I don’t know if someone actually said this, or if it’s just cliche at this point.  I just know that in this situation, it’s 119% true.  I think the major problem is that we as a culture are asleep.  I believe that we need to wake up and start cleaning up our messes.  And boy, do we have a shitload of mess to address.

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Beware, you’re about to read my opinions about lots of different things. If you’re not comfortable reading about things you might not agree with, I would encourage you not to read on any further. If, however, you agree or disagree and have something thoughtful to add, your feedback is HUGELY appreciated. What I’m trying to do is start a conversation… get us talking about the things we’re not supposed to talk about. With that, carry on.

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I was chatting with a friend last evening about politics. It sort of went like this (I’ve taken creative authority to change it some):

“So, who are you voting for?”

“I don’t know, whomever the leading democrat is at the time of the election.”

“You don’t have a preference over Obama vs. Clinton?”

“No, not really. I’m pretty much a single issue voter.”

“What issue is that?”

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There are a great many things that I may never learn.

The more I aim my focus at learning, the more I realize that I really know closer to nothing than anything at all.

I was trying to find a place today, within my experience, for ignorant folks. I could not help but wonder why it was that these creatures of bliss were comfortable just being stupid. To my semantics, ignorance is technically someone who has never had any sort of wisdom presented to them, or never had the opportunity to learn more than what they know, and stupidity is one who, even if wisdom was presented, for one reason or another, would not or could not gain from it. So, please allow me to rephrase. I am unsure of how it is that, in our American society, one could choose to be comfortable, for whatever reason, in never thinking about their understanding of the world as any seeker might be.

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