I had a semi-revelation here regarding my Behavioral Neuroscience paper that was due two weeks ago.

Honestly, I’ve been resisting this.  I don’t think the topic is that interesting, and I don’t agree that the researchers who are exploring the topic have necessarily justified their reasoning behind why they’re so interested in figuring out neuronal pathways that a brain uses to identify an object or mentally rotate it.

They’ve come up with results that generally don’t support their theories, which I suppose is truthfully how you go about researching something so great a feat as figuring out How the Brain Works and what not.  Have a theory (an educated guess) and construe a study that will either support or dispute your theory.  Much of what I’ve read thus far has been a whole lot of disputing although the researchers still tend to throw a happy twist on to it by saying, “Yes but we think that blah blah blah doesn’t quite eliminate our theory…”

Whatever.   It really doesn’t matter to me personally, and I’ve had a really challenging time embracing this whole thing.

Then I read this article, which I just finished a summary on, and it sort of changed my perspective on it all.  It gave reasons behind why it’s interesting to learn how we process object identification and mental rotation.

First of all what IS mental rotation, really?  Well, it can be the technical this is your object in this orientation (point A), and then this is your object in a different orientation, rotated around an axis (point B).  And how do we come from point A to point B?  Well, I’ll give you a little hint: imagination.

Yes, we imagine this rotation around the axis.  We are using our imagination when we see one object and mentally rotate it.  Undeniably, there is a strong connection between imagination and… well, a whole lot of interesting things.  Consciousness, for one.  We have to be conscious to have an imagination… or do we?  I suppose this depends on your definition of consciousness– is consciousness being awake?  Because if dreaming isn’t a use of the imagination, I’m not sure what IS.  Is consciousness the act of being aware of yourself?  For example, I’m here typing out my thoughts because I can think them, then I can identify that I’ve thought them, and then I can type them out here on this warm laptop, putting my thoughts (imagination) out for the world to see.  I am aware that I am a thinking being and therefore find value in my ability to share my thoughts with you, other thinking beings.

Physiologically, what IS imagination?  And what IS consciousness?

If we can start with the tiniest building blocks– visual perception, mental rotation, object recognition, and find connections through measurements such as response times and functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI), then we may be able to build up a bigger picture of understanding just how the brain works.

Of course, I still think this is a much greater task than can be found by simply asking subjects to mentally rotate an object and then watching the electrical activity in their brains.  I don’t think that our brains are all the same, and I think, instead, that our awareness is all greatly unique based upon what we’re taught from day one of existence as a human.  (When that exact point is, I’ll not go into, that’s another post entirely.)  I think we associate things with each other and THAT is how our network of consciousness evolves.  I think that we begin with a completely egocentric perspective– one where we feel physical pains (hunger, gas, defecating, cold, warm, etc), and we learn to interact with our environment by crying, grunting, suckling, and smiling.  As we get older we learn to integrate visual, audio, and tactile stimuli into meaningful patterns– where we discover the things our parents are demonstrating for us as examples of what it’s like to be human.  We learn that humans walk on two feet and use our hands to eat, and express our needs and desires through language.  We learn to be afraid of what our parents teach us to be afraid of, and we learn to be confident in the ways they encourage us to be confident in.  After time, we move forward to learning from people other than our parents.  We learn from other children, from other family members, and become socially educated in how to elicit what we want from our environment.  All of these things we tie into our memory (our cortex) as associations.  I associate smells with food.  I associate food with mouth watering.  I associate the sound of keys jangling with being told to put on my shoes and jacket.  I associate getting a positive reaction from adults when I say the words “Please” and “Thank you” and “May I.”

I don’t believe that we all store all visual stimuli in a storage place in our brains that allows us to identify them.  I think we use all forms of stimuli (visual, audio, gustatory, taste, tactile) and save that data all together relative to the other things with which we associate them.  For instance, some of us have strong associations with smells, such as the smell of cherry pie.  I associate the smell of cherry pie with being with my family on holidays, and I associate it with the memory of my great grandmother.  Perhaps the visual cue of cherry pie, my grandmother’s house, and the image of my great grandmother are not all stored along-side of my other visual cues– like apple pie, my aunt’s house, and other family members as much as they are with the experience, or memory of the experience.

I’m not entirely certain that we are going to be able to do an experiment that eliminates all variables to test my theory– an I suppose I would be okay if the results dispute my theory.  After all, those of us researching this stuff have to pin point somewhere to begin.

Okay, so I’m going to tell you all a little bit about this Behavioral Neuroscience (BNS) paper I am in the process of writing!

Hold on to your hats, folks, this’ll be fun. I mostly promise.

The purpose of behavioral neuroscience in general is essentially to understand how our behaviors and actions translate into physiological activity inside or brain. This can also be the other way around: physiological activity within our brain can translate into actuality via behaviors and actions. (And, I think, thoughts and emotions.)

Basically, what these scientists in this field are doing is to identify how our brains work. This is a daunting task considering it is extremely challenging to separate “awareness” from “aliveness” and conscious thought from unconscious thought. No one really _knows_ what a thought IS.

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I’m sitting here on lunch.  Doing nothing.

Or, rather, I’m supposed to be doing nothing.  I’m “supposed” to be just sitting here, enjoying the fact that I’m doing nothing, at least for another week, until school begins again.

I’m not ready for it.  I didn’t have a long enough break.  It easily took me two weeks to get over my fatigue, and I’m finally getting over a cold that has been hanging out with me for the past three weeks.  I didn’t get enough done this break.

Actually, I got a lot done.  And I feel great.

But still, here I am, printing off powerpoint slides for my o chem lecture, thinking about how I’ll do better this time around.  I’m thinking of the ways I’ll take notes– I’ll use my laptop to take notes in class. I’ll write notes on the backs of the powerpoint.  I’ll spend more time with my notes.  I’ll…

I haven’t heard back yet from my research instructor.  We emailed twice over the semester.  I want to make sure I’m exactly where I need to be in order to do what I want to do with the research stuff.

I’d like it if the time I spend doing research could go towards my degree. Maybe I could get out of doing other research classes.

*sigh*

It hasn’t even begun yet and I’m already thinking about it.

No stress allowed, though.  I already know I’m taking a more reasonable load and I already know I’m going to be a total rockstar.  This semester, I know what to expect.  There are no other excuses.

Wow.  So I just spent a few hours researching the possibility of getting my MD/PhD through the MSTP (Medical Scientist Training Program) at CU.

This means I would be earning both my Medical Degree and my PhD at the same time, in one fell swoop.  It’s something to consider!

I was speaking with two of the doctors within my department over brownies today.  I had told both of them (two very opinionated, vociferous fellows) that I was tossing around the idea.  The biggest pleaser: tuition is paid through grant monies AND I get a stipend.  It’s a modest stipend, about $10K less that what I earn now.  But… I wouldn’t be working.   I wouldn’t be working through my MD anyway… The whole point of these MSTP’s are to attracted physician scientists, because apparently this is a program that has been lacking qualified applicants.  So, the not accruing $300K worth of debt I would otherwise accrue should I go the MD program alone seems somewhat tantalizing.

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I’ve noticed that sometimes I will repeat maladaptive behaviors out of habit. Not because these are the things I wish to do, but because they come so naturally to me. I don’t have to think about them– and that’s probably the root of the problem. I don’t think of them. If I were consciously thinking of them, I would repeat behaviors that were healthy and “good for me.”

So, I’ve got these “bad habits.”

How does one go about eliminating bad habits– replacing them with more productive behaviors? I believe it goes back to the basic core of our behaviors– represented and stored in our brains as memory.

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Good things just seem to happen to me.

There’s a lot in my head right now, a lot floating around, and I’m trying to interpret it all– trying to figure out what is important to share and what isn’t. I wanted to tell you all about the good fortune I that is coming upon me.

First, there are the gifts. I have received so many gifts recently, it makes me smile to think of it. Today, I got a ride home from an old friend and a co-worker who stopped by the bus stop while I was waiting. “Where you headed?” I told them, and they said, “Get in!” so I did. I rode to my destination with friends. However, I must add that I’ve learned one really important rule: Never trust a man who brakes with his left foot. *chuckle* I’ve been given homemade cookies from a classmate. A beautiful jade plant from one of the facilities guys. A homemade pumpkin muffin from one of our nurses. Good advice from my mentor… so many gifts!!! And you know what else? I realized that people are REALLY nice to me at work. I pass people in the hall, and I get smiles, constantly. People ask me how my day is or how school is going… people who I don’t really even know. They care, and they smile. Gifts… (more…)

Hi!

I have some good news!

I am now a member of the Golden Key National Honor Society.  This happened last week!  I can add this to my list of other honors (pardon me while I toot my horn…) I have been on the Vice President’s Honor Roll twice… and I’m also a member of the Psychology honor society Psy Chi.  (yay!) So, now I have one more thing to add to my record.  Yay!!!  It’s all about adding these things up to increase my value to an admission committee so I can get into medical school.  (more…)

Yes. Yes, I do.

Scientists amaze me.

It’s not like they’re some sort of geniuses (though they are intelligent); rather it seems to me that the scientists who made the most dramatic impact on the world as we now know it were simply curious people who preferred to think outside of the box that we are told is reality as we know it. This frame of character which gives a person enough confidence to explore their own thoughts and theories is something I aspire to have.

Scientists, researchers, and doctors epitomize this very confidence in their own ability to successfully think over and postulate solutions to problems set before them. These are the characteristics I want for myself. The ability to problem solve. Honestly I don’t think these physicists and chemists and other scientists are really all that special. They’re not any smarter than the rest (that’s obviously negotiable– perhaps I should re-state that as they’re not any smarter than ME); again it comes down to having the curiousity to explain the inexplicable and the confidence to theorize and lay out experiments to test their theories.

Could I become the next great quantum physicist? The answer is absolutely YES. Do I necessarily want to? Not likely. I want to help and heal in a more intimate way.

However…. I find this stuff faaaascinating: When any wave (for example light or x-ray) hits a regular array of ridges, grooves, atoms, or ions, diffraction occurs. Diffraction is the breaking up or scattering of the different wavelengths, as in how a prizm scatters/ breaks up the different visible colors of wavelengths into a rainbow. X-rays and electron waves can diffract off of molecules and crystals. The regular array of ridges, grooves, atoms, or ions create diffraction patterns, which can be detected as dark or bright spots on a photographic plate. These patterns can often look very symmetric, as in a snowflake.

So I was thinkin…. Could there be a connection between the patterns that we ‘reflect’ in this planet system as a ‘gigantic’ diffraction pattern of the wave energy in the universe???