January 17th, 2010
The little boy and I were listening to an audio book on the way to school. In the audio book, the narrator described an America where the church was the highest power and everything was extreme Christian.
The little boy interrupted the book shortly before we arrived to school. I hit pause and listened to his question, as I always do.
“My friend Marvin says that he thinks hell is where you’re shot with guns every single second and the devil’s the one who shoots you.”
“Sweetheart, there’s no such thing as the devil. It’s just a story made up to scare you.”
“Oh?”
“Yep, and there’s no such thing as hell. Heaven and hell are what you make of your daily life here on earth now. ”
“You mean that no matter how bad I am, there’s no place that God can send me away forever to?”
“Honey, I don’t believe God would make a place where all his little people would go to suffer. It just doesn’t make sense. God’s made of love and is supposed to love you unconditionally.”
Silence. The little boy got out of the car and shut the door. The look on his face was a mixture of confusion and relief.
“I love you, kiddo,” I said as I tousled his hair.
“I love you, too, Ash.”
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I realize that I just threw a major wrench into the whole Christian belief basics for this child.
I realize that belief, when built early in a child, can move mountains. I admire the faith of a child, I really do.
Remorsefully and with utter relief, I refuse to allow this boy to believe in the threat of hell. How frightening the imagination of a child can be! Humanity, in general, has spent plenty of time in fear. It’s time now, to move from acting righteously out of fear to acting righteously because we are honorable and… well, righteous.
It’s a leap. And one I’m willing to run for.
This is so beautiful.
Acting righteously because it makes one feel good. That’s the only reason anyone should ever do anything. One should never do anything simply because they fear NOT doing it. Or vice versa.
In my experience, the threat of punishment and the looming of authority is what makes people rebel and act out in the first place.
EL´s last blog ..Lunar Living ~ New Moon
Ash,
So, here I am playing devil’s advocate (appropriate for this blog? lol)…but, won’t this become a growing problem? If you are sending your kid to a Christian school, you have to expect them to teach Christian beliefs. If you are okay with having your teachers teach your kid one thing, and then contradicting it everytime your child has a question, won’t that eventually just turn into a tug-of-war between school and home?
While as the parent it is completely your right to teach your child your beliefs, why send him to a school that is so different from what you believe?
The more he learns and the older he gets, the more questions he’ll have, and the more you’ll have to tell him that you don’t really believe 90% of what his school – the one that you chose – is teaching him.
That might be frustrating for you as well as the teachers. My husband has run into this while teaching confirmation and it’s really hard…he has asked the parents “Why do you want your kid to be confirmed if you don’t believe any of this?” and they always answer “To teach him good values”.
Isn’t that the parents job?? Anyways, not that I think that’s you, but…why not send him to a public school, or a non-religious private school?
I’m not trying to attack here, I’m just actually curious.
Much love!
Colleen
Colleen´s last blog ..Some thoughts on Avatar
Colleen,
First, I LOVE YOU for sharing your thoughts. Our discussions always make me feel… accepted and loved. So thank you.
Yes, we expect that this will be an ongoing “problem.” At the same time, I don’t think the kids are wrong for believing what they will eventually believe, nor do I think that the Christians who are teaching them are wrong for teaching what they believe.
The kids’ school… has one of the most impressing educations I have ever witnessed. Public schools don’t hold a candle to BLS’ education. (Pun intended.)
Honestly, I love what Christ taught. I think understanding the Christian church is paramount to a successful understanding of Western spirituality. I’m not opposed to Christianity, I simply think that many of the Christians these days have it wrong. I’m no expert, by any means, especially in theology of Christ, but I believe that Christ taught the spirit of love rather than damnation. In fact, I’m certain he focused on love.
The tenants of the church are good. I appreciate the education I received in the Lutheran school systems– of the religion _and_ of the text book education.
However, I don’t think fire and brimstone should be the focus, especially for children. Fear should never be the motivation for spiritual actions, which is a point on which I think you’d agree with me. Teach the children of Christ’s love. Of God’s love. Teach the children of forgiveness and of hope. Teach them the ten commandments. But threatening them with hell… doesn’t inspire me to keep my mouth shut. :)
El, I agree with you. I think that the threat of punishment is rebellion-motivating.
I also believe that fear is the last thing that should motivate a person.
Ash,
I agree with you that fire and brimstone should not really be taught to children. And yes, Christ leans on love and forgiveness. Fear shouldn’t be a motivator in that way.