I really don’t even feel like writing.  I’m so tired. I am disconnected from several of my girlfriends.  I am losing the new ones I recently discovered. My thoughts have been so scattered lately.  I have had a difficult time writing out anything terribly coherent.  I know it’s because I’ve been busy. I’ve been struggling to not be disenchanted today.  I know that there is a fever within me that can be healed if I only stop and be still.  It’s just that I feel so disappointed.  I know that this disappointed feeling is only due to setting expectations for someone rather than just letting them be.  My needs are one thing, my expectations are another.  I am okay with the change and being let down.  Ultimately it is because I know that all of the beautiful creatures I surround myself with are also on their own paths, working towards their own greater good. Sometimes, though, heart break is a real feeling, and though perhaps it comes from a place that would not have happened had I not set forth expectations, it’s still a real, genuine, heart-felt emotion that I am okay with experiencing.  I just have to remind myself that these emotions are the very things that allow me to also feel elated and enamored.  These human feelings, all be them slightly uncomfortable, are natural, and remind me that I’m human after all. I’m so filled with advice.  Every time I find myself sharing advice, I pray that when I come to the place in my life where I, too, can follow my own advice. Now is that time. And here I am, shouting out to the universe “rescue me!  I need a miracle!” Time to mother myself.  I’m so good at mothering everyone else. I’m disorganized.  Something needs to change there.  I need to make a list of the things I have to get done, and then actually do them.  Is that enough? …And then I go back to my unexpecteds blog.

And I shout out to the universe, “Is this all you’ve got?!?!”

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