I am a talented young woman.  I am twenty-six years old, have a knack for growing things, giving great advice, and writing.  I have a passion that is driving me to go into the field of medicine.  I want to study neurology and psychiatry.  I want to do research on how chemicals affect mood and behavior. I want to help people.  I want to find solutions to behavioral problems so that I can possibly prevent maladaptive behavior.  I have excellent grades and am a great student.  I have recently discovered the Law of Attraction, and I have never been happier than I’ve been in the last six months.  I understand that we create our reality and I full embrace my ownership of all things in this life. I am on the verge of quitting my current job, which pays me well.  I am a type A personality and require organization, a positive work environment and healthy co-workers.  Right now I’m in a business that is chaotic, unhappy, and is driving me insane.  I can’t work there any longer because it is driving me into depressive thoughts, behaviors, and I’m having difficulty concentrating on the one thing that I love in life, which is my education.  I don’t believe in quitting a job until I have secured another job in place.  I’m concerned that every day that I stay, the more and more I’m going to have to work on my mental health.  I am concerned for my mental health.  I know my thoughts and unhappiness about this job are killing me, very quickly.  I need people in my life.  I need to surround myself with happy, healthy, thriving people. I need job security.  I need a paycheck I can count on.  I need health insurance benefits.  I’d really love to work in the field I want to go into.  I refuse to take a step backwards.  I am actively applying at all kinds of different jobs.  I would also be okay with moving into a career path that utilizes my talents.  It’s imperative that I feel validation, gratification, and a sense of accomplishment.  I’m accustomed to exceeding expectations that are set before me.  I must have the tools necessary for success, and I’ve been completely stripped of those tools and have absolutely no chance of doing the current job well because not only do I NOT have the tools I need, I don’t have the experience or the drive to do well because every day is a constant battle against miserable, rotten, disorganized people. I know that I cannot focus on what I don’t want.  I realize and understand this.  I know exactly what I want, and the more I focus on what I do want, the more of a contrast it is to what I currently have.  I am open.  I am willing.  I am ready and I am visualizing.  I have that joy in my heart that knows I’m going to get that dream job.  I’m trying so hard to be patient. I am afraid that I’m going to quit my job before I have secured another job. I know that I cannot act out of fear… Which leads me to wonder if maybe I shouldn’t just quit the job and then begin my quest for another job.  I would have much more time to find my next job, and I’d be more apt to apply and take more risks if I didn’t have this job.  I wonder if that’s not justification or maladaptive thinking.  I don’t know.  All I do know is that there is the right job out there, and I am applying for jobs all day long.  I’m on craigslist.org, monster.com, and jobing.com all day long.  I am constantly visualizing and doing everything within my ability to keep my spirits up. I am going to end up dropping one of my two classes this semester.  It’s not the classes I want to quit, though, but if I cannot focus and be motivated, I’m only going to set myself up for further failure in a few months. FUCK!!!!  It makes me so angry that I’m still at this job!  I’ve hated this stupid job since I started over a year ago.  I tried to quit for the first time over a year ago. I put my resignation in the first week of November of last year.  It’s the middle of September.  I tried to express my misery to the boss.  I resigned, and it took her until April to find a replacement for me, and that replacement quit within six weeks.  The second replacement quit within a week.  Why am I so afraid?  It’s a balancing act between being afraid of not having a job and being confident enough to know that I have another job already.  Am I being reasonable??? Unreasonable? CRAZY?? I’m having a quarter life crisis.

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