I’m a terrible cook.

I mean, I can feed myself.  But I have to feed the kids.  I made chicken noodle soup, using Grammy’s chicken broth.  And I used some tapioca noodles– something we had in the cupboard.

The first go around, I boiled the noodles too long and it ended up a goopy starchy mess.  So I decided to fish all the noodles out, and threw them away.   I boiled a new round of noodles. I put some corn in the broth.  I put the freshly cooked noodles in the soup.

I tried to serve it to the kids.  It wasn’t terrible.

They proceeded to tell me how terrible it was.

I lost it.  I mean, not outwardly.  I threw away the soup.  Cleaned up the kitchen.

I couldn’t not feed them dinner.  I mean, they’re just kids and they weren’t intentionally trying to hurt my feelings.

Luckily there was a can of some gross generic raviolis.  I heated those up, and they ate.  I know they knew I was upset, but they possibly have never seen a grown up on the verge of tears over something they unintentionally did.

A whirlwind of emotions swirled up in me… I went outside and cried.

It’s ridiculous, really.  I should be able to just play along, head held high.  Maybe if I wasn’t such an emotional wreck inside…

My mom called before dinner.  “Are you holding up?”

“yeah.”

“You don’t sound like you’re doing okay.”
“I’m fine.”

I don’t have any other option to be at this point.  She reminded me that I chose all of this.  That I chose to be in this position.  I’m really trying to remember that and to stay positive.  I’m trying to appreciate the beauty, and I refuse to be unhappy this entire time… that’s not healthy.  I also recognize my limitations.  And that I have chosen this and can ask for help.

This is a significant practice in discovering who I am.

7 Comments »

1. 

   One of my favorite little mantras is “the only way through it is to do it.” Have a little think about that.

   Also:

   Chopped carrots
   Sliced onions
   Garlic garlic garlic
   Chicken or Veggie broth
   Baked chicken breasts

   Bake chicken for about 45 minutes. I like to bake it with olive oil, salt, pepper and whatever herbs are handy.

   Meanwhile….
   Put carrots, onions and garlic into large pot. Add 4 cups of chicken/veggie broth, plus 2 cups of water. Simmer away happily while you go do something else.

   When chicken is cooked, chop it up and toss it in the pot.

   About 20 minutes before you are ready to eat, throw in the noodles.

   Voila! Mucho delicioso chicken soup =)

   Comment by Erin Shippey — April 26, 2008 @ 9:02 pm

2. 

   Erin, baby, you make me smile. I will do this right next time. And I’m using your recipe!

   AND I received a wise word of encouragement from their dad to feed them sammiches every night. Boo yah, I can make one fat sammich.

   Comment by POHA — April 26, 2008 @ 9:06 pm

3. 

   Quick and easy.

   Needed:
   Chicken breasts
   1-2 cans cream of mushroom (don’t judge yet)
   1 bag frozen cauliflower and broccoli and carrots(or fresh if you prefer)
   1 can French’s fried Onion (near the greenbeans in grocery stores)
   1 bag of mild chedda (or whatever is prefered)
   Steam veggies, set aside

   I have discovered the perfect way to cook chicken so that it’s super tender and yummy! First trim the fat off. Next, and here’s the fun part, beat the hell out of it with a meat tenderizer. Good way to take out aggression Salt and pepper both sides.

   Heat pan, olive oil, and a couple teaspoons of butter. Sautee both sides of chicken until both have a golden brown coloring. When cool enought o handle cut into cubes (feel free to eat come of those cubes!) YummY!!!!!

   Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

   In baking dish mix chiken, veggies, and cream of mushroom. Stir in some of the cheese (the more you put in the cheesier it will be, if the kids like cheese put more in), you can also put a small layer of cheese ontop the mixture. Put can of French’s onions on top of that.

   Place in oven for about 15 minutes. Long enough for all ingredients to heat up, cheese to melt, and crunchy onions to get a toasty brown (not dark brown).

   Serve and enjoy the praise from the kids!

   Comment by Brianne — April 28, 2008 @ 10:37 am

4. 

   Ok, again…I MUST proof read my comments before sending..

   “(feel free to eat come..)” = “feel free to eat some”

   Comment by Brianne — April 28, 2008 @ 10:40 am

5. 

   Hee hee. What’s on your mind, my friend???

   Yum, that sounds really good! Thanks for the suggestion!

   Comment by POHA — April 28, 2008 @ 10:42 am

6. 

   I have another chicken one, do the kids like mushrooms?I know you do.

   Comment by Brianne — April 28, 2008 @ 11:07 am

7. 

   Bring it on, lady. Yes, they like mushrooms. They actually eat generally _everything_! That’s why I was so disturbed by them not liking the chicken soup.

   Comment by POHA — April 28, 2008 @ 11:15 am

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