Have you ever personally tried to get to know yourself?

Honestly, in going through this experience of getting to know so many people, I have sometimes forgotten that I need to also know who I am, what I bring into the experience, too. I think it’s a priceless exercise!  I have been in the dating world since I was seventeen-ish, and I’ve repeated some pretty curious behaviors over the last *gasp* ten years. I go through the process of getting to know a person, then for one reason or another– whether it be on my part or his, we have come to know each other well enough– and then we moved onto our next victim(s).   *grin*In all this time, I’ve slowly been getting to know myself– to know my wants and desires.  I’ll try one thing, give it a whirl, and then depending on how it turns out, learn from the experience and essentially move along. Eventually, in time, I’m quite certain that I will know what I truly want from companionship and partnership. It seems, though, that because I haven’t truly made an effort to get to know ME, then I would expect that perhaps what I know of myself isn’t truly enough to aim for what I really want.  You see what I’m saying here?

So, in observing this pattern, I have decided to make it a priority for me to know me purely– in as many experiences as necessary for me to really know what I want. (heh heh heh)I’ve been doing a lot of things by myself recently.  I’ve been going clothes shopping, out to eat, for walks around the reservoir, hanging out studying, spending time at home by myself.  I’ve been able to watch the things that I do, and am feeling that I am spending enough time to at least know me a little better.  And you know what?  I dig me.  Like, really dig me. (Even though I type the word “like” probably more than is necessary, it’s all good.)

Yo. I was getting the feeling that I talk about myself a lot in this blog, and that would probably explain it.  I like me.  I like seeing how I react in strange situations.  Which is probably why I experience them.  And I like the strange situations.  I like the things I get myself into.  I love my friends and I love my episodes of oddioscity. (made that word up.) Couldn’t ask for better. I’m super eager to get this semester over with.  Three weeks, kids.  Three weeks.  And then all bets are off!!  I’ll be taking a few summer classes, online (did I hear a *woot*?)!  There will be numerous opportunities for me to put myself into odd situations then!!! We’re quickly approaching Apogaea… Wooo weee!  What an incredible experience that was last year.  Was almost my re-birth, so to speak.  Camping in the mountains, surrounded by 500 or more beautiful, sparkling, loving, hippie-raver-dancer-techno-nudity lusciousness.  I have all kinds of costumes, too.  Yessum.  Summer dresses, hippie skirts, beautiful patterns, low cut things, and oh– I looooove my beautiful body (had to throw that in for good measure)!!!!!!!!!

Yes, plenty of opportunities to really see me in action.  After Apo is Dreamtime, which is a little more hippie than Apo and has couple of thousand people.  Right?  No?  I can’t remember how many people there were there, but I had a great freakin time.  *grinning* oooooooh, Yeah.  I saw Kan’nal for the first time (that does NOT rhyme with anal), Caitlyn DeMuth the first time, was close enough to the poi spinners that I felt the cold drip of the fluid flying from their batons, showered in community showers that were just pipes of cold water being pumped through a shower head nailed to trees, and sat in people’s tents whom I hadn’t met until entering their converted tent-gone-tobacco hookah lounge.  And that was just one night.  *smirk*

Yessum.  I love experiences like these. Have had a number of *ahem* more strange experiences, but those, too, only helped me know me more purely.  (pardon the pun!!!!<— I totally chuckled out loud at that!)Anyway, so that’s the lesson for the day.  Getting to know myself… figuring out how I behave within interesting stimuli, and then coming up with a story to tell about it, forever etched in 1’s and 0’s…. I think it’s a really terrific idea for all of us to try and get to know ourselves– to see who we are in new experiences… I’m not saying to be reckless, but to find out who you are– what you’re okay with, what you’re not okay with… what you choose to do with yourself.  You know?  I think, too, that exposure to a variety of ideas and people gives you more empathy, a better understanding of the world, and helps you know exactly what you believe and why. It’s something I am embracing whole-heartedly at this moment. And I don’t have to wait until Apogaea to begin this experience.  Not at all. In fact, I will be going through this very thing tonight.  I will surround myself with beautiful people.  I will meet new like-minded people.  I will really enjoy myself! I love like-minded people!  And in these people, who are ultimately reflections of myself, well, only brilliant things can happen!

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