Dun dun DUUUUN.
Amazing conclusions, I can’t believe it took me so damn long to come to this!!!!
Okay, so do you remember how I have said that I feel like my relationships have impermanence? How then, suddenly I lost so many of my friends?
Guilty! I totally recognize that I created this. Here’s how:
What I believe is what I get. If I believe that no relationship is permanent, I end up not fighting for the friendship when troubles arise. To me, as an Impermanent Relationship Maker, it’s pointless in trying to fight the fight for a friendship that, in my mind, will eventually be lost anyway. So I don’t put up a fight, I walk away.
Now, this is not to say that I could have saved every one of my friendships by doing some addressing, but at least then I wouldn’t have felt so abandoned. Really, what I was experiencing was my OWN abandonment of the relationships. Aha!
Amazing.
Lesson learned.
My new way of addressing friendships is this: Permanent, long lasting, lifetime friendships. Not all of my new relationships will necessarily fall into that category, but since I will be seeking with an attitude that attracts those kinds of friendships, I anticipate having that many more of them.
Sometimes it’s hard to see the logic in a situation when you’re emotionally involved.
3 Responses to “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”
Leave a Reply
April 5th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
True dat. That’s why folks like us present all the minutia of our lives in a public forum so that others can show us the angles we’re not seeing.
When I met you, you were Ms. Impermanent Relationship “I don’t believe in permanent companionship” Girl but I’ve seen a big ol’ change in you in these (yikes!) 3 years. Leaps and bounds, my friend, leaps and bounds. I don’t think you’re putting that vibe out there nearly as much as you used to.
Attracting permanent relationships is all well and good but the passing fancies serve their purpose in our lives so I think there needs to be a middle ground. The whole cliche of “friends come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime” thing is cliche for a reason. Did the falling-out with Rachel suck? Hells yes. Do we miss her? Of course. Did we learn something from it? Always. It always sucks to lose friends but it never sucks to learn.
Is that a silver lining? Is that even a well-formed opinion?
April 6th, 2008 at 10:34 am
I think that was a beautifully well-formed opinion!
Has it really been three years?! Wowza.
You’re right, there is reason/purpose for all interactions. Many are to show us how to handle those situations in the future, because we’ve learned from our past interactions.
And yes, the fallings-out DO suck. There’s rarely a day that goes by that I don’t think of them. But, in thinking about them (and over-analyzing the hell out of them), I’ve learned a bunch. And from the one situation you mentioned, I learned a phenomenal amount. Good goddess, so many life lessons. I could list them all here, but for some reason, that strikes me as a bit like airing out stuff that’s long been over-analyzed. Anyhoo. Life goes on, and we keep on learning. It never stops.
May 12th, 2008 at 9:28 am
[…] sense of wellbeing is resilient and you move on to the next topic or decide a new path. Ash has a good example of this never say die attitude, but it also highlights that these connections can work against you […]